from nowhere, to now here.

I remember the times when I used to be super laidback, and I do mean super. I was used to not care about the surrounding, and sometimes about other’s people feelings as well. I used to be……..careless, yeah, that’s the word. I was used to not actually care about anything. About people that are close to me, literally (if you know what I mean). Sometimes, I do not understand that people actually wanted to be loved, wanted to be treated like loved ones, and I guess I am not a fan of affections, boo :(

I remember the roller coaster rides as well. It is amazing how certain people could affect me deeply, affect the way I feel to be exact. Sometimes, I could feel superbly joyful and sometimes I could be in a total breakdown. Sometimes, simple words could lighten me or tore me deeply. Total nonsense can absolutely give me anger and weird acts. It’s amazing really to look back in the past and remember how I used to act and feel because of little and big things.

I remember when I was crushed……..and also when I crushed others. I could be such a devil and I do not have respect sometimes, so sorry people. I feel so bad. I know some people hates me big time because all of this, but, uhm, well, you know, things had to be done.

I remember when I used to wonder about the meaning of the words ‘forever’ and ‘always’. It seems that that words have no existence in my dictionary yet, but I am truly trying to fit that inside the book.

I remember the words and quotes I used to thought, and write. I’m pretty good in literature I guess, I used to make lyrics for some friends of mine. The words and quotes are from my experiences in my life and also from my deepest and darkest emotions. I used to post some in my blog too, but I get bored easily so I erase all my posts once in a while. It kinda reminds me of the past, and I don’t want to be stuck in it.

I remember the cries, awwwww. I rarely cry (count out family problems and count out Kasha’s evil pranks), but a human is a human and people do cry, and I have to admit that I do (rarely, though)……and I rarely share. But impacts are sometimes hard to adapt, and it gives me struggles…..but in the end I stood where it’s very hard to stay standing, and adapted. Every problem is going to be over sooner or later. So cheers to that :D

I remember the affections, the song dedications, the late-night calls, the expressions I had when I am telling my friends every detail of every story (I am not a sharer though, only certain people knows), and a lot of other things as well. But of course I am not going to explain it all here, go find out by yourself :)

There’s tons of more things that I remember. My brain is full with memories and I do look back sometimes, reminiscence cheers me up at times. But if you ask me ‘would I rather go back to the past?’ then my answer consists of two words: hell no. I won’t go back. I know the past had been wonderful, irrational, abnormal and hurtful at the same time, but take a look at this fact: I have an amazing life, full of my fantabulous friends and family, and I am now with someone really, really, really special that impacts me big time :)))))

So you can conclude that I am more than ready to face my future :D

(copied from my tumblr blog, messedup-bigtime.tumblr.com)